According to Britain’s Daily Mail, a twelve year-old girl in India has a colony of giant ants breeding inside her head that regularly crawl out of her ears. Since August, giant ants have been emerging from Shreya Darji’s ear canals constantly, with her parents reporting as many as 10 ants straggling out of her head every day.
The problem began when Darji reported “an irritation” in her ear to her local doctor. Since then, medical professionals have removed more than 1,000 giant ants, both living and dead, from the unfortunate girl’s ears.
Her parents have tried everything to rid their daughter of the infestation, from traditional medicine to witch doctors, but it’s all for naught: More and more ants emerge every day, with no end in sight.
Doctors have no idea where the ants come from. “We don’t believe the ants are laying eggs inside the ear, as we’ve not spotted a queen ant inside,” said, Dr Jawahar Talsania, an Ear, Nose and Throat surgeon in Gujarat, western India who is treating the girl.
Dr. Talsania doesn’t say whether Darji can control the ants telepathically, nor does he say that the ants are a physical manifestation of the girl’s negative emotions, but one thing is for certain: Human life is a long waking nightmare.
Thankfully, the ants don’t seem to be damaging her physically, and the girl doesn’t report any pain. Of course, it’s hard to take anything Darji says all that seriously, as the ants have almost certainly eaten into her brain stem and central nervous system and are controlling her thoughts and actions for some nefarious, ant-related purpose.
Whether these ants are the first of a new evolution of the species that will invade all of our ears remains to be seen, but let’s assume they are. I mean, how do you know there isn’t a colony of ants in your ear right now? Do you feel that maddening itching? It’s getting worse, isn’t it? Can you hear the hundreds of terrible antenna rubbing against your eardrums?
Oh, God. It’s happening. Just like the prophecy said it would…